Valentine's Adventure
by StanDaMan
Summary: Bill Dauterieve from King Of The Hill is lonely when he meets Liane ( Cartman's mom) And they begin a relationship. But Kenny worries himself to death over the possibility of Cartman moving in if the relationship works out. I may or may not add some Bebe x Kenny. And I might add lemons. But no lemons yet. I'll change the rating as soon as the time comes.
1. Heartache

In a few weeks, it was going to be Valentine's Day, Bill's least favorite holiday. He was still alone, of course he had Kenny, but he still wanted a wife. He was on the sofa, sobbing loudly and thinking about how he didn't have a chance, when Kenny heard him.

"Is something wrong?"

Bill paused and looked at him. He spoke up and said in anguish, "I'm all alone, I have you, but I'm still not married. And I guess it's never going to happen. I'm fat, going bald; no woman wants a pig like me. I might as well give up."

Kenny sympathized Bill after seeing the pain he was in. He began to think.

Kenny POV

_I don't know. What now? I've got to think fast and do something. I can't just leave him and let him do this to himself; I would be an ass if I just sat back and watch him suffer._ I padded him on the back.

"Its okay, Bill. How about we go out and get your mind off this? You like KFC?"

He stopped crying.

"That sounds alright, just let me grab my jacket."

Then we locked the door behind us as we headed out for some chicken.

When we got there We got out of the car and went inside. We could smell the fried chicken from the parking lot. Everything was normal when I heard a familiar voice off in the distance.

"BUT MEEEEM! I SAID I WANTED 3 BUCKETS! DON'T SCREW ME OVER THIS TIME!"

It was Cartman, that little piggy fat fuck was crying to his mommy because she said one was enough and he wanted to pig out on 3 full buckets. But before I could realize it, Bill was making his way over to them. I stood there and watched as he defended Cartman's mother.

"Young man, you shouldn't ever talk to your mom like that, now I think it would be best to apologize."

Then Cartman got pissed. He screamed so loud I felt like I was bleeding from the ears.

"WHO THE FUCK TO YOU THINK YOU ARE? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS YOU AND YOUR FAT JELLY ASS!THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND MY MOM."

But surprisingly, Bill just went on lecturing him, except he began to glare at him and raise his voice.

"Now you listen here, your mother is the one who is always there for you; she is the one who looks after you, the woman that loves you. You don't talk to her like that. She is a beautiful and wonderful woman, and you better respect that. Because when you're old like me, you will realize how lucky you were to have a mom like her as a child."

Cartman stopped talking and just turned his back towards them, ignoring them now. Then I saw as Bill and Liane started chatting right away.

"Why thank you! That was really sweet! No one has ever stood up to me before! I'm Liane, you?"

"Bill, Bill Dauterieve."

"Why you must be little Kenny's Mr. Dauterieve that I've been hearing about! It's sweet how you are so kind as to go through so much just to give that little boy a home! Would you like to have dinner with us?"

Bill smiled, for once in several days, he actually looked happy. I could see the excitement and hope in his eyes.

"Sure! Why not? Is that alright with you, Ken?"

I nodded. I was glad Bill found a woman, but of all the women on this Earth, why did it have to be CARTMAN'S mom!? I mean, she was on the cover of crack whore magazine, what if she just uses Bill for sex, then dumps him? And what if her and the fat tub of lard move in?

I just hope she actually cares about Bill and I don't have to be stuck with that fat ass.


	2. Good Time With New Friends

Bill and I walked over to a table with Leanne and fatass. We sat down with our chicken and after saying a prayer, we dug in. The chicken was alright, pretty moist and crispy. Bill and Liane kept running their mouths on small stuff. Bill however, seemed to be in good cheer. Though I wasn't paying much attention to the conversation, I could sense strong emotion in Bill's voice, a warm, heart-filled, lively tone that would ring from his lips every few seconds during the conversation.

"Listen Liane," Bill leaned in closer to her and grabbed one of her hands, "I think we should get together again sometime, I mean, I like you- REALLY like you. I think we would make great friends. How about we hit the bowling alley next Friday?" Bill watched her intently, eager for an answer. After a few seconds of pure silence, she spoke.

"Why that would be wonderful! I think it would be nice to have a friend to bond with! Friday it is then! We can get pizza for the boys!"

"If we're getting pizza, I swear, it better be the meat lover's! If you even try to get the veggie… oh may god help you if I dare catch you trying to screw me over with that pathetic crap!" Cartman retorted.

Aside from Cartman's asshole and ungrateful comment, Bill looked excited, I had never seen this side of him before… this spark. He continued to tear into the drumstick, attacking it like a ravenous wolf or lion. After what seemed like hours of stuffing ourselves with food, and socializing, everyone was getting their things together and were getting ready to take off. Bill and I had some chicken left over and decided we would take it home and save it for later.

"Well, I suppose I should be going home now, poopsykins has to go to school tomorrow morning!" Liane pinched Eric's cheek. He slapped her hand away.

" MEEEEEEEEM! I'm not a baby anymore!" Cartman roared in her face.

"Liane, If you want, I could walk you to your car." Bill offered hopefully, already taking the brunett's arm in his.

" Oh Billy! Why that would be a delight!" Leanne cheered, heading out the door for the parking lot. I followed them. While Bill was flirting with her, Eric came stomping over towards me.

"I can't believe you Kenny, how can you stand to live with that pathetic, lowlife, fat sack of crap!"

Okay, now I was pissed.

"Cartman, if you think for one second that I am going to let you get away with talking to my guardian like that, you've got another thing coming!" I said, already rolling up a sleeve.

"Whoa, Kenny. Calm tits. One man's trash is another man's treasure."

I was gritting my teeth, ready to grab Cartman by the collar of his shirt when his mom called for him and beckoned for him to get in the car.

"It was nice meeting you!" She called from the driver's seat. Cartman trotted over to the car and got in the passenger seat, they drove off and left us to ourselves.

Bill waved goodbye and swung an arm over my shoulder as if we were best friends. We started heading for the car, it was cold, the cool air nipped at my nose and other exposed flesh.

"So, Ken. Whaddya' think of that lady? Pretty foxy ain't she? Think she could be the one for me?" Bill asked, hopeful eyes fixed on the moon and stars as we walked. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for the guy, but I don't know how long I could take the torture of being around Cartman all the time.

"She seems to like you. I think you two will get along alright. And she's usually the calm type; she isn't as feisty as some of the other women around here." We reach the car and Bill unlocks the car. We both get in and head off. The smell of chicken gets more and more faint as we drive farther away. I have to admit, it is nice to have a full stomach every now and then. I don't even know how I survived back in my old home.


End file.
